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Dancing in the hallway... no matter who is judging!


That notion is archaic and if we want to be honest, it is arguably the predominant reason why the divorce rate is as high as it is to date (somewhere around 44%).

Because for years young women are bred to walk down the aisle and become a woman by being someone's wife.

Let me throw this disclaimer out there, I am a lover of love and a devout believer in the power of healthy marriage. So this is not me saying "don’t get married" or "men are evil" or "marriage is a scam" or any of the other awful one-sided phrases we hear so often.

What I am saying is "don’t let society tell you when to get married" "timelines are evil" and " [over the top] weddings are a scam".

See the difference.

For so long we have been trained to believe that we have to have our entire lives lived by the age of 30 as if there is something wrong with stopping to smell the metaphorical roses of life.

You are not missing out on life if you do not check off all the imaginary boxes before a certain age.

You are in fact missing out on more of life when you are constantly looking to check off those invisible boxes.

Because when you are so focused on checking off your boxes:

  • You rush into relationships looking to be a wife, which means you are not prepared to embody the IDENTITY of a wife.

  • You are not conscious of the present, which leads you to be unfulfilled and dissatisfied

  • You forfeit your happiness for what society tells you will make you happy, which furthers the power of your representative identity and diminishes the power of your authentic identity

Take it from someone who has been on both sides. The side where you choose what makes you happy is way better than letting society tell you what should make you happy.

Checking off those boxes won't make you happy.

I was there too.

I checked off so many boxes:

  • Graduated college

  • Fell in love with an amazing man

  • Fell into an amazing career

  • Published a book

  • Started a non profit

  • Started a small business

  • Working on physical health

And the list goes on, but I was still unhappy.


Life was GREAT!

But society was telling me it was not good enough. Day after day the same questions came about "What are yall waiting for?" "When is the wedding?" "Why are you taking so long to get married?"

And my favorite phrase came about consistently "I could never be in a relationship that long without being married…"

And in a candid conversation with my fiance I had an epiphany.

We are so consumed with what everyone else deems happy that we do not take the necessary to decide our own happiness.

How much more happy could you be if you stopped trying to check the boxes and just lived life on your own terms?

Can you even imagine that life?

I can, and let me tell you… the water is great on this side.

We decided we weren't going to let anyone rush us into anything. We trust God and ourselves enough to know that we will get to enjoy the things we desire when we are supposed to… and until then we will continue to dance in the hallway.

You have purpose. You absolutely matter and the choice to be happy is yours!

I love you and I mean it!!

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